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Life This Month 13 – October 2012

I apologize for having another completely inactive month. My life here isn’t going as well as it should and could be. I spent a good one or two weeks being depressed, and I’m still not very happy. Here’s how the situation breaks down. I constantly wanted to hang out and spend time with my friends. My friends, however, either were “busy” or they wanted to do their own thing by themselves.

My lack of friends that can and wants to hang out with me has upset, angered, and depressed me. I did talk to them about it, but the fact remains. If they are busy then they are busy. If they don’t want to then they don’t want to. I’m powerless as I cannot influence other people to do as I wish. It’s very upsetting but I’ll have to tolerant it, I’ll have to bury it deep inside.

I’m excluding a lot of details, but hopefully all this still makes sense. Hobby-wise, as you may have noticed, there has been a serious lack of updates on the blog. The usual laziness has something to do with it, but recently I realized that my time in Japan was quite “traumatizing”, for the lack of a better word.

For the past several months, I’ve been quite isolated with the anime scene. While I did watch anime on a  semi-frequent basis, I really felt that I wasn’t apart of the whole thing. I felt so much like an outsider in Japan, and when I got back, I simply couldn’t afford to keep up with the hobby. Various things kept strengthening the same thing, my detachment from my hobby.

I was ready to let go. I really was. After all, I’m in university, my rent is expensive, the currency rate sucks, preorders sold out, and I’m running out of space in my house. I couldn’t keep up with the Spring and Summer seasons, and now I’m ignoring, or more accurately, avoiding this Fall season. I don’t want to see it or hear about it.

Thankfully, my life doesn’t consist of only bad things. I did visit home to hang out with a friend at my house and in Japan Town, where he watched the Madoka movie. I didn’t watch it with him, I just wandered around for 4 hours until he was done. During that time, I bought a few things, which you can see in my October Loots post. This trip to Japan Town really reminded me that I need to be in Japan, and I need to be there with a friend.

I have lived through most of this month with a heavy feeling in my chest. However, I’m now trying to reconnect myself with my hobbies. Not a great timing though, as I had to write papers after another, as well as projects and midterms to top it off. Now how am I going to find time to play Halo 4? Speaking of which, Halo 4: Forward Unto Dawn was really amazing. And oh, you can find my GT in my About page.


4 responses to “Life This Month 13 – October 2012

  1. TakoTalk November 2, 2012 at 15:59

    It makes me sad to hear that things aren’t going well. I hope that things really get better for you. See if you can plan something ahead of time with them!

    As always, I love your desk setup. It took me awhile to notice that you unboxed Millihiore! She’s a great looking figure, I really want her!

    Again, sorry if I sound like a parent or anything, I just care for the well-being of people. Make November fun! :)

    • セイヤ/Flawless November 2, 2012 at 17:52

      Hey, thanks for visiting every time. I appreciate your comments.

      If it was that easy to solve the problem, then it wouldn’t have been a problem. I’ll somehow deal with it. I don’t know what else to say.

      Yeah, I knew that she was a figure that I wanted to unbox soon. I wanted to Figma too but I couldn’t get my hands on it. Right now, I’m trying to decide if I want the cat princess too. Hmm…

  2. 赤信号 November 29, 2012 at 04:33

    Oh man I get what you mean..unfortunately I’m one of the always busy people when friends ask me out..juggling work and school just killed off my social life and now that I’ve read your post I better understand where my friends are coming from..thankfully it’s going to be the holidays soon and I’m gonna use that to hang out with all of them once again. =3

    Well I’m glad to hear that slowly but surely things have been picking up for you, will keep coming back to check things out! 頑張って!

    • セイヤ/Flawless December 5, 2012 at 19:48

      Thanks. Although it really isn’t my friends being too busy to hang out with me, it’s that they refuse to make time to hang out with me by using “busy” as an excuse. I wouldn’t be hurt by them if they were truly busy. T^T

      It’s gonna be another lonely Christmas for me as everyone is leaving for their families, except me. It’s disappointing that I can’t even afford Christmas lights right now. But good luck to you! ^^

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